No nonsense will be tolerated, except the nonsense we personally bring. 

Only good vibes, grilled meats, and questionable dance moves allowed.

Surprises may occur, and no, we will not elaborate.

Keep your expectations low; the live music will raise them anyway

If you hear rumors of a birthday party, please report them to management immediately.

 Don’t assume the surprise is good; assume only that it is inevitable.

Music will be loud enough to drown out your inner critic.

Our grill master accepts compliments, bribes, and emotional support.

Real friends show up hungry and pretend not to notice the chaos.

Everyone agrees the food is amazing, even if they’re lying. 

 Some dishes are delicious, some are suspicious, and we refuse to specify which is which.

All guests are encouraged to hydrate, mingle, and avoid Inna’s “suggestions.”

 Lawn games will get competitive fast; friendships may wobble. 

Laughter is mandatory; dignity is optional. 

Obviously the grill will flare up dramatically at least once for cinematic effect

We promise the surprises are fun, not “call your insurance” level. 

Every plate will be full, even if we have to refill it for you.

Don’t listen to Inna. She’s still trying to collect “donations” for reasons unknown.